Why Failure is a Choice You Make Failure is a product of our mind and therefore we determine if it exists or not. Learn more empowering ways to view situations where failure becomes a stepping stone, not a roadblock.
By Jen Sugermeyer Edited by Micah Zimmerman
Opinions expressed by BIZ Experiences contributors are their own.
Let's face it. When something doesn't go how you thought it would, it can sting. Maybe you lost money, lost a relationship, lost a business venture or some direction you were headed. Then, you had to face the people you cared most about to say it was all over — tough conversations, lots of emotions, and no doubt some level of disappointment.
What if I told you that you were the problem and were responsible for the failure? What if I also told you that because you're responsible, you could also eliminate failure?
Failure is a choice you make.
You're probably thinking, but I had no control over the outcome. I didn't ask to be laid off, or I didn't want my spouse to leave me, or I didn't think my business would tank and leave me in debt. So how did I choose failure?
Mahatma Gandhi told us that "A man is but the product of his thoughts what he thinks, he becomes." This means that the power of thought is not a benign transaction happening within your mind, but rather a variable determining an outcome in your life.
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How is it that one person can fail and give up, and another can fail to give up? It's quite simple. One person has visualized themselves as a failure. The situation didn't meet their expectations, and the shame, guilt and embarrassment were too much, so the person decided to part ways with the idea. Their ego was bruised. Forever in their mind, they will have a failed mark on their life resume. Much like checking the divorced marital status on a form, failure is now permanently engrained in their past.
The other person, however, fails to give up. This person does not see themselves as a failure. This person has chosen to deny the idea of failure and, therefore, never fails. This person knows that anything great doesn't usually come on the first try.
Every Olympian took years of training before they could ever consider trying out for the Olympics. Michael Jordan took countless hours of practice and years of tenacity to be one of the greatest basketball players who ever lived. Colonel Sanders didn't franchise his business until he was 62 years old and wasn't famous for his chicken until he was in his 70s. Imagine how much chicken he fried until he got it right and his dream came to life.
Related: 6 Proven Strategies to Rebound From Failure
If you don't see yourself as a failure, then you're looking for other variables and other attributes. You look for lessons when things don't work out. You become accountable for your own actions and assess how you can improve. This improvement helps you get stronger, become wiser and unstoppable.
You look for the silver linings. What's the good you can find in the situation that presented itself to you? You may not have expected the outcome, but what good came of it? A person that doesn't recognize failure bets on themselves and has the faith, trust and belief that they'll weather the storm and win. They are confident that maybe not now, but when the time is right, the world will allow them to shine the way they know they can. Until then, they stay optimistic, get stronger and don't give up.
You choose if you want to look at a situation as a failure. There's no negating that sometimes things don't work out the way we want, but that doesn't mean it's a failure. It's a building block in your life. You can use it as a stepping stone or a roadblock. No one can determine how you choose to use that block other than yourself.
Is it harsh to say it's your fault you failed? Maybe it's harsher to tell yourself that you're a failure and not allow yourself the potential to take that situation and grow from it. No one can help you make those millimeter pivots in your mind in how you see a situation other than yourself.
Related: How to Allow Room for Failure and Create a Successful Work Environment
Learn to block out the noise of those that try to reinforce the idea of failure. You have a vision for your life, and only you see it. Don't allow your ego to stand in the way of your dreams.
Your ego may tell you that a situation that goes differently than expected is bad. Your ego may stop you from trying again or taking a step in a new direction. Instead, listen to the voice that tells you that you are not a failure, you only learn and grow and that whatever happened was meant to happen because better is around the corner.
