The Monty Burns Guide to Managing Your Staff These perfectly cromulent words will embiggen the smallest company.

By Nick Leftley Edited by Dan Bova

Opinions expressed by BIZ Experiences contributors are their own.

FOX via Getty Images
THE SIMPSONS: Mr. Burns gives his employees high-tech eyeglasses in order to spy on them in the 'Specs and the City' episode of THE SIMPSONS airing Sunday, Jan. 26, 2014 (8:00-8:30 PM ET/PT) on FOX.

Ah, your employees. For many budding BIZ Experiencess, managing that anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes is the hardest part about running a business. But never fear, good fellow! There is one man out there who transcends simple terms such as "boss," "manager" and "chief whip-cracker."

That man is Simpsons legend Mr. Charles Montgomery Plantagenet Schicklgruber Burns. Heed his wisdom, and avoid being just another fly-by-night CEO, strung up by their pantaloons when your staff inevitably revolt. On with the lecture! On, I say!

1. Choose your new hires carefully.

These are some of the most important decisions you'll ever make for your company, so put in the same careful planning and research that you would with any other facet of your business.

2. Always be aware of the next big thing.

Make a point of staying on top of current trends, especially in technology and communication. It's vital that your staff see you as someone who's ready to successfully lead them into the future.

Related: New Search Engine Allows You to Find 'The Simpsons' Screenshot You Desire

3. Encourage your staff to have more in their lives than just work.

It's always good to impress upon your employees just how important it is to maintain the right balance between their working and personal lives.

4. Listen to what your employees have to say.

Remember, although many of them might be younger than you, you can still learn a lot of valuable things from your staff if you listen to them.

5. Get to know your staff on a more personal level.

Make time to regularly catch up with your employees and take an interest in their hobbies. A personal connection will make all the difference in your daily interactions.

6. Cultivate a green office environment.

Sustainability is not only important these days, it's expected! Educate your staff on maintaining an eco-friendly office -- they'll be happier knowing they're making a positive difference.

7. Encourage your employees to take a proper lunch break.

Stepping away from their computer for at least half an hour will improve their concentration and productivity for the rest of the day.

Related: 13 Things 'Ghostbusters' Can Teach You about Starting a Small Business

8. Don't underestimate millennials.

They may require a different managerial approach to older employees, but once you've figured out how to motivate them, their energy and enthusiasm will be well worth the effort.

9. Reward your team's efforts.

Show your appreciation for your employees' hard work with group activities outside of the office. If you can get them to associate being together with having a good time, they'll work that much better as a team.

10. Know who your best workers really are.

If layoffs are required, it's imperative to take the time to figure out exactly who among your team are actually the best assets to your company -- not just who stays the latest.

All images courtesy of Frinkiac.

Nick Leftley has been writing and editing for print and digital publications for over a decade, and many times has been able to spell "entrepreneur" correctly on only the second try.

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