Concerned About a Coworker's Burnout? Here's How to Approach the Topic Safely and Tactfully Burnout affects a person's mindset and perception of events, resulting in uncharacteristic behavior, such as temper tantrums or withdrawal.

When a coworker starts showing signs of burnout, it's only natural to feel a strong urge to assist them. Yet, many of us are uncertain about how to approach the situation or even whether we should intervene.

Drawing from my burnout coach and advisor expertise, I recommend approaching this topic without forgetting about your own best interest too. However, if you hold a managerial or HR position, you may require specific guidance beyond what is provided here.

Related: How to Spot BIZ Experiencesial Burnout (Before It's Too Late)

Individuals experiencing burnout are often hypersensitive and may misinterpret genuine concern as criticism

Burnout affects a person's mindset and perception of events, resulting in uncharacteristic behavior, such as temper tantrums or withdrawal.

This is particularly true in a work setting, as individuals may fear being viewed as weak or incompetent because that would jeopardize their job security. Therefore, even if you're close friends, it doesn't guarantee that approaching them will be easy or well-received.

Here's a suggested approach for initiating the conversation:

Timing

It's essential to avoid making an impression of setting a trap or pressuring them to confess or share personal details.

Confronting someone about burnout can be a highly stressful experience, occupying their thoughts for hours or even days. To ensure minimal disruption to their schedule, choose a suitable time when the person is not busy or anticipating an upcoming meeting.

For instance, you may bring it up during a shared meal at lunch break, after work in a more casual setting, or following a meeting you both attended. Ensure no one is listening.

Manner

Regardless of the setting, avoid sounding like you are assuming the role of a psychologist, being patronizing or displaying excessive worry. Such behaviors might cause the person to become alarmed, defensive or even experience a panic attack.

Wording

Adopting a delicate approach is best unless you are certain the person appreciates candid conversations.

I suggest saying: "You know, I've read about high rates of burnout in our industry, and you seem stressed lately. Have you ever considered how our roles may contribute to burnout?" They're likely to respond with, "What do you mean?" In such a case, you can briefly describe common symptoms of burnout and mention helpful online resources.

Keep it concise, avoiding pressuring them to talk. This could be a starting point for the conversation if they're willing to open up to you. However, respect their decision not to discuss it further, too. Rest assured that they'll seek additional information independently when they feel ready.

Alternatively, you may be faced with statements like: "I don't know what you're talking about," "I'm just tired, that's all," or "And...?"

In such a case, you can say, "Oh, it was just my impression. I'm sorry if I bothered you." Or, if you believe this topic is a valid concern for more than one person in your workplace, use: "Actually, I may propose having an anti-burnout training for all of our team. It's long overdue, anyway. Thank you!" And then actually do that.

This conveys that you recognize the issue's significance for everyone rather than singling out the individual. If they express concerns or ask for your discretion, remain honest and avoid deception.

Remember: Your tone of voice and body language will significantly influence the success of this interaction, so try to approach it with a positive attitude.

Related: 3 Insights From the First Large-Scale Study on Burnout and BIZ Experiencess

There are three typical possible outcomes.

This seemingly innocent exchange can have significant effects on the person and your relationship with them:

1. They'll open up about the problem

Although rare, some individuals feel comfortable discussing burnout with colleagues. If so, expect tears or prolonged silence, and the best approach is to listen and refrain from passing judgment.

2. They'll ignore your words if they're in denial

Regardless, your chat can potentially plant a seed in their mind that they may reflect upon in the coming months, and that's the best outcome you can reasonably hope for.

3. They'll react defensively or aggressively due to anxiety and fear

Don't take their reaction personally. You have no reason to feel guilty if you handle the conversation tactfully and respect their boundaries.

Nevertheless, they may start to avoid you or scrutinize your behavior for signs of judgment, gossip, or pity. However, if you maintain a professional demeanor, this behavior will likely diminish within a few weeks as they regain a sense of safety.

How to navigate potential negative consequences

This conversation may trigger hostile reactions, especially if the person stresses about being found out. Despite your good intentions, your efforts may be misinterpreted, leading you to be perceived as the problem rather than burnout itself. This can result in adverse outcomes such as gossiping about you, reluctance to collaborate on projects or even a false complaint to HR as a preemptive strike. Therefore, utmost delicacy is advised.

If such events occur, you may need to address the source of the malicious behavior with the appropriate parties.

Even if the conversation goes well, you may not observe an immediate shift in their behavior toward burnout recovery.

Individuals will only seek help when ready, sometimes requiring a significant event. Offering support without becoming emotionally invested is a skill that many doctors, psychologists or family members must learn. It would be best if you also strived to cultivate it too. Otherwise, excessive concern can consume you, leading to a constant desire to control the person's choices, leaving you disappointed.

Considering all of this, is it worth having the talk?

Absolutely. Even if it takes them months to initiate recovery, your gesture can be the first step toward transforming their life.