5 Steps to Master the Art of Negotiation Remember that you're not just creating an agreement, you're cultivating a long-term relationship.

By Michael Mamas Edited by Dan Bova

Opinions expressed by BIZ Experiences contributors are their own.

Wouldn't it be a different world if everybody thought the way you did? If everybody spontaneously conformed to your every wish, your every thought, your every feeling? Since life doesn't work that way, you would do well to become skilled at the art of negotiation.

Related: Be Calm, Flexible and Speak Up in a Negotiation, and Everyone Can Win

In negotiation, after all, neither party holds all the aces. Instead, negotiation proceeds (or should proceed) on a rather level playing field. Since both parties want to win, what is the best way to proceed? Here are five steps.

1. Establish the relationship

The wise negotiator establishes the relationship before proceeding further. Doing so allows you to get a feeling for the person with whom you are dealing, and vice versa. Though often ignored, "feeling" itself is an essential part of negotiation. So, always be open and sincere. Honesty, integrity and dignity are palpable qualities, and the foundation upon which constructive negotiations are built.

You are best positioned to negotiate when the other party respects you, not only as a businessperson, but as a human being. Trust, which is gained through that respect, is the key to successful negotiation.

2. Choose 'honey over vinegar.'

You'll do better with honey than with vinegar -- but the honey must be genuine. Never underestimate the natural ability of other people to sense who you really are. Disingenuous, manipulative and secretive are feelings that simply cannot be hidden.

When negotiating, you too can sense if the other party's values are subpar or lack integrity altogether. No greater red flag exists in the entire arena of negotiation.

Related: This Strategy Will Make Negotiations Less Painful

3. Focus on the win-win.

Win-wins are the only way to go. If you approach a negotiation thinking only of yourself, you are a terrible negotiator. Understanding what all parties need, and working for all concerned is vital. Keep in mind that seeing things in only black and white (win-lose) creates limited thinking; creativity is essential to good negotiation.

Ultimately, all people involved should find themselves on the same side of the fence. You want to be a player, not a pain. Keep your eye on the big picture and don't get caught up in the small stuff. Stay out of the weeds.

4. Embody your inner adult.

Never forget that everyone has an inner adult and an inner child. It is remarkable to witness how even high-level business deals break down because someone at the table starts thinking childishly, instigating that behavior in others. When you see this happening, keep in mind that everyone goes out of balance.

Be the stable anchor, the respectful adult at the table. Helping people come back into balance is often best done by example. Take the high road, embodying your inner adult. Don't argue; instead, understand.

5. Respect the rhythm of the relationship.

Always remember that there is a rhythm to everything. Don't push it. Oftentimes, it is best to say nothing. Never forget that silent pauses can be a very powerful tool. Give yourself and others the time and space to reflect upon everything that has been said.

Don't rush it. Try to sense the natural and appropriate rhythm of all the people at the table, including yourself.

In closing

By implementing these five points, you will be well on your way to mastering the art of negotiation. Negotiation is all about relationships. By cultivating and maintaining a good rapport with everyone at the table, every player can win. You're not just creating an agreement, you are cultivating a long-term relationship as well as a reputation.

By mastering the subtle art of negotiation, you establish yourself as a top-rank business person, and that in itself may lead to even greater opportunities in the future.

Related: 7 Reasons Why 'Just Ask' Is the Best Negotiation Tactic

Michael Mamas

Founder of The Center of Rational Spirituality

Dr. Michael Mamas is the founder of The Center of Rational Spirituality, a nonprofit organization dedicated to the betterment of humanity through the integration of ancient spiritual wisdom with modern rational thought. From personal issues to global trends, Mamas helps individuals and organizations develop a deeper understanding and more comprehensive outlook by providing a "bridge" between the abstract and concrete, the eastern and western, and the ancient and modern. Mamas has been teaching for 35 years and writes on a variety of subjects on his blog, MichaelMamas.net.

Want to be an BIZ Experiences Leadership Network contributor? Apply now to join.

Science & Technology

OpenAI's Latest Move Is a Game Changer — Here's How Smart Solopreneurs Are Turning It Into Profit

OpenAI's latest AI tool acts like a full-time assistant, helping solopreneurs save time, find leads and grow their business without hiring.

Business Ideas

70 Small Business Ideas to Start in 2025

We put together a list of the best, most profitable small business ideas for BIZ Experiencess to pursue in 2025.

Business News

'We Don't Negotiate': Why Anthropic CEO Is Refusing to Match Meta's Massive 9-Figure Pay Offers

Anthropic CEO Dario Amodei laid out his rationale on a recent podcast for why he will not play the competing offer game despite Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg's attempts to poach AI talent.

Science & Technology

AI Isn't Plug-and-Play — You Need a Strategy. Here's Your Guide to Building One.

Don't just "add AI" — build a strategy. This guide helps founders avoid common pitfalls and create a step-by-step roadmap to harness real value from AI.

Side Hustle

This 26-Year-Old's Side Hustle Turned Full-Time Business Led to $100,000 in 2.5 Months and Is On Track for $2.5 Million in 2025

Ross Friedman's successful venture started with a "Teen Night" in Boston, Massachusetts.

Money & Finance

These Are the Expected Retirement Ages By Generation, From Gen Z to Boomers — and the Average Savings Anticipated. How Do Yours Compare?

Many Americans say inflation prevents them from saving enough and fear they won't reach their financial goals.