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Bulking Up A little training each day helps you pump up your game at the bargaining table.

By Marc Diener

Opinions expressed by BIZ Experiences contributors are their own.

When I was young, I dreamed of becoming a classical musician. Ispent countless hours mastering scales, arpeggios and the like.When I sat down to play tough pieces, all those finger exercisesreally paid off. Can deal-makers improve their negotiating chopsthrough daily practice? I think so. Here's what I suggest:

  • Listen.
  • Any decent book on communicationskills will tell you how truly difficult it is to be a goodlistener. It doesn't come naturally. Pick somebody each day topractice on. You already know the drill: Don't interrupt;don't judge; don't go away on a mental holiday. I don'tknow about you, but I almost always pick up great businessintelligence when I really listen.
  • Learn to be a good conversationalist.
  • Ask open-ended questions-the ones thatcannot be answered with a simple "yes" or "no."Hint: They begin with how, why, what, who, where or when. This ishow to gauge your opponents' vulnerabilities and ferret outtheir underlying interests.
  • Be obnoxious to someone.
  • Find someone annoying to practice on,like a telemarketer. Perhaps you'll question my maturity, butbeing petulant and irascible has its time and place at thebargaining table. You won't use this tool often, but it'snice to have on your belt. And this kind of role-playing experiencewill give you great perspective when you invariably find yourselfon the receiving end.
  • Continue your education.
  • There are lots of great books onnegotiation. Read one. No matter how experienced you are,you'll probably learn a technique or two that's either newor something you haven't used in awhile. Find a situation topractice it. This is how to expand your repertoire.
  • Flinch and make a counteroffer.
  • Flinch and make a counteroffer. Flinchand make a counteroffer. Make it like a basketball drill.There's definitely an athletic component to good bargaining.Reaction time can be critical. So hone those haggling reflexes'til they become second nature.
  • Agree with everything someone says.
  • Disagree with everything someone says.How does it feel? What makes you edgy? How is the other personreacting? At what point are they getting torqued? Negotiation isgive and take, push and pull. Being able to sense your ownthermometer as well as the other guy's is an advantage.
  • Make an outrageous demand.
  • Sometimes deal-makers need to beaggressive and audacious. They need to move beyond their comfortzones and test the limits. Bluff. Bluff, big time. Ask for the moonand the stars. Nobody's gonna get hurt.

When one famous violinist was hailed as an overnight sensation,he said: "I practiced for 20 years, and now they callme a genius." Do your daily deal-making exercises, andsomeday, you, too, will play your opponent like a Stradivarius.


A speaker and attorney in Los Angeles, Marc Diener is author of DealPower.

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