Why Your New Year's Resolutions Won't Work Unless You Stop Doing These 4 Things Most of us struggle to both make and keep new year's resolutions that work. If you want this year to look different, here's what NOT to do.
By Amy M Chambers Edited by Kara McIntyre
Opinions expressed by BIZ Experiences contributors are their own.
The prologue of my upcoming book takes place on New Year's Eve. I rang in 2012 as a single gal who was unhappy with her weight and relationship status. In the final moments of 2011, I vowed to lose 15 pounds in the upcoming year and find my dream guy. That year, neither happened.
This isn't uncommon. Turns out, research shows a majority of people fail to keep their new year's resolutions. As an executive coach and mindset coach, I've studied this phenomenon — my upcoming book, The 6 H.A.B.I.T.S. of Powerful People, focuses on why that's the case and what we can do about it. If you've failed to keep your resolutions in the past but want that to change, here are four things you should avoid doing.
1. Don't wait for an arbitrary date
Stop waiting for the ball to drop on December 31, and start now. Once you've decided to make a change, prolonging action — as you wait for an arbitrary date — actually harms you.
Our brains are complex beings. All our brains have both a subconscious and conscious component. Often, when we decide to make a change, our subconscious mind resists us. It does two things very well: protect us and run old programs. At first, change interferes with both things and thus, our subconscious will resist any change. When we plan for change but don't follow through on those plans with action, we send a signal to our subconscious minds that we're not serious about our decisions.
Related: 6 Ways to Become a Better Listener
When we wait for arbitrary dates, we also give the subconscious extra time to talk us out of our decision. In the meantime, our subconscious minds get additional opportunities to remind us of all the reasons upcoming change will be hard, why it isn't worth it, and how things will be better, easier, or more fun and comfortable if we stay the same. Highly successful people often implement change immediately after they've decided to make the change.
Allowing yourself to continue poor habits for days or weeks after making a verbal commitment to change only makes the change much harder. So, don't give your subconscious ample ammunition by waiting for January 1st. Start now.
2 . Don't focus on lag measures
Many New Year's resolutions focus on lag measures instead of lead measures. This is another pitfall. Our resolutions often solely focus on end results. We'll commit to losing a certain amount of weight, saving a specific amount of money, or procuring a new title or role at work. The problem is that we can't control any of those things.
We're far more successful when we focus on lead measures, which are influenceable and predictable. Instead of making a resolution to drop 15 pounds or save $10,000 this year, center your resolutions around your behaviors and activities — and also tie that resolution to an end goal.
More from the author: 6 H.A.B.I.T.S. of Powerful People
If the resolution is about your health, make a commitment to set your alarm at a specific time each day, get to the gym a certain number of times each week, or drink a specified amount of water. If your goal is to save more, figure out which purchases have curtailed your ability to save and make a commitment to cut those out or reduce them by a quantifiable amount. Suppose your resolution is to be a better employee, identify exactly what actions you'll take to become one. Notate how, where, and when you'll do them.
Turn your New Year's resolutions into S.M.A.R.T. goals (specific, measurable, actionable, relevant/realistic, and time-bound). Then, you'll be able to measure and track your progress.
3. Don't set yourself up to forget
If you're serious about keeping your resolutions, don't try remembering them all in your head. Studies show we're far more likely to accomplish something if we go through physically writing it down. Put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) and put your resolutions into a format where you can literally see them with your own eyes. Then, take that document and place it somewhere that you'll frequently see it. You might hang it in your bedroom, put it on your desk, or tape it to the bathroom mirror. Where's the best spot? It doesn't matter, so long as it's an area that you frequently visit and spend time around.
Related: Check Out Amy Chamber's YouTube Channel For Motivation Content
Each time you visually see what you said you wanted to achieve, you remind yourself why these resolutions mattered to you and what you committed to do — even if the commitment was only with yourself. This will make you more likely to hold yourself accountable and do the work. Also, don't make the mistake of keeping your resolutions to yourself. For extra accountability, tell others what you're setting out to do. You'll be more likely to carry out your plans if your boss, spouse, or best friend regularly asks you how it's going.
4. Don't take on too much
How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. Rome wasn't built in a day, and you can't move mountains overnight. Don't set yourself up for failure by setting resolutions that are so outlandish or lofty that you'll quickly feel like a failure at the first signs of struggle.
If you've never run a mile before, don't set a resolution to run a marathon by Valentine's Day. If you've never worked out in your life, then resolving to go to the gym every day isn't very realistic. The bigger the changes you want to see, the more important it is to chunk them out into bite-sized pieces you can reasonably consume.
Identify the first set of steps you'll need to take to get you pointed in the direction you ultimately want to go. If you're not setting yourself up to celebrate small wins along the way and start by making progress, you'll be bound to be discouraged when you encounter your first series of setbacks, and that will make it harder to stick with the plan. Be reasonable and realistic about what you can accomplish in a month or a year. Start small so you can stay engaged.
By avoiding these four classic mistakes, you give yourself a much better chance of successfully achieving your New Year's resolutions than I had back in 2012.
Check out Amy Chambers' book, The 6 H.A.B.I.T.S. of Powerful People which is out now.
