The Biggest Threat to Your Boundaries Isn't Your Boss or Family — There's Someone Else You Need to Face First It's hard to draw a line in the sand, but it doesn't have to be.

Q: I feel like work is overtaking my life. I know I'm supposed to "create boundaries," but how? — Jamie, Houston

If you're feeling stressed, ask yourself this question: "What activities make me feel happier and more at ease?"

Whatever your answers are, those are your nonnegotiables. Please draw boundaries around them. No amount of work or obligation should encroach upon them, because then you won't have the energy or focus to fulfill your work and obligations. For me, my nonnegotiables are my early morning exercise, a long Sunday morning walk with my husband, and the one specific work objective I identify each day.

Related: Work-Life Balance is Possible — And It's Not as Hard to Achieve as You Think

I know — it's one thing to draw boundaries, and quite another to actually keep them. So that comes next.

Start with your calendar. If something is important to you, schedule it. Why should a meeting be on your calendar, but not the thing that makes you feel happier and more at ease?

Next, communicate those boundaries to anyone who threatens them. Do it in detail. You may worry that this sounds needy, but I promise you it doesn't. When clients ask to book early-morning meetings with me, for example, I tell them, "I'm sorry, but I don't book meetings then — that's my workout time and it's how I kickstart my day to be as energized and focused as possible for the rest of the day." When I first started doing this, I was shocked at how responsive and respectful people were. They understood and saw me as more relatable. Some clients even asked about my workout motivations and fitness programming.

Related: 5 Expert-Backed Strategies for Setting Boundaries at Work

Now here's a light-bulb moment. If your clients and colleagues respect your boundaries, then guess who the greatest threat to your boundaries is? It's you. You must ensure that you stick to your boundaries. Here, I've found two things to be helpful: The first is a shift in mindset. The second is an awareness of distractions.

Start by reframing your perspective. Instead of thinking of your daily activities as stuff you "have to do," think of them as stuff you "get to do." You're shifting from obligation to opportunity — and turning tasks into choices. Boundaries are the way you organize those choices. You get to do your exercise, or whatever your personal nonnegotiable is, and then you get to do your business plan. These things are not in competition; they're simply in order.

Next, think about the distractions in your life. Maybe it's the constant pings of emails and texts, or someone walking into your office. Think of these as choices too: You either get to be distracted by those pings, or you get to turn them off. Which helps you focus? Make that choice.

I say this as if it's easy. I know that it's not. I've gone through a long journey of boundary-setting myself,
and it took time and discipline to get there. But once I did, I asked myself some other questions: Do I feel more productive at work? Am I more refreshed in my roles as a partner, a friend, and a parent? When I saw that the answers were yes, yes, yes, and yes, I knew I was doing things right. So will you.

The art of setting boundaries is not about saying no to things. It's about saying yes to what truly matters in your life — and then ensuring you make the time for them all.

Related: The Perfect Work-Life Balance Starts With Saying No