Why You Should Go Searching for Brutally Negative Feedback One of the most powerful things you can do as an BIZ Experiences is to ask for raw and impolite opinions.
By Daniel Priestley Edited by Dan Bova
Opinions expressed by BIZ Experiences contributors are their own.
One of the most powerful things you can do as an BIZ Experiences is to ask for negative feedback — raw, honest, brutal, unguarded, fearless feedback. You want this feedback from someone who already has the results you want and has no vested interest in seeing you succeed or fail.
One of my friends and clients, Michael Serwa, spent his teenage years practicing the trumpet with the goal of being a world-class professional musician. He dedicated hours every day to practice and enrolled in a top Polish music school. After struggling with a music exam, Michael decided to track down the most famous trumpet player in his country; Michael was determined to know if he would succeed in a music career. He caught a bus and traveled eight hours to where the iconic Tomasz Stanko lived. Using the apartment building's intercom, Michael convinced the musician to listen to him play and give him honest feedback. The trumpet player listened for 10 seconds and said "Forget it. You don't have the right lip and mouth shape to play at the highest level."
With that, Michael put away the trumpet and changed his career path — very successfully.
Michael moved to the UK, pursued life coaching, wrote a book and went on to become one of the highest-paid coaches in the UK. His clients include millionaires and high-achievers who pay Michael for his unique style and approach. He loves his life and is thrilled that things worked out the way they did.
Related: How to Really Hear and Use Customer Feedback
The story sounds brutal but the alternative could have also been much worse — spending his twenties and maybe even his thirties pursuing something he wasn't going to succeed at rather than something he could.
My mentor, Mike Harris, who built multi-billion dollar businesses, says that his most valuable strategy is to "embrace the critics." He desires more than anything to be told all the reasons something is unlikely to succeed. He doesn't want to shy away from it, he wants to reflect on it and address it. He says that success is accelerated every time you receive harsh criticism and he actually calls it "free consulting." He goes looking for it.
Searching for criticism isn't easy. People need to feel really safe giving it to you straight and it's your job to set the scene. You might say "Can I ask you a huge favor? I want you to hold back all your positive praise for what I am doing and give me your most brutal and critical appraisal of my business/product/innovation/strategy/etc." Another way to frame it could be, "I have 100s of people telling me what they like but what I really want to know is what am I missing, what's stupid, poorly conceived or misguided with what I'm doing." If all else fails, you might even pay for someone's negative advice by asking, "Can I pay you for your time to shoot my business down in flames? I really want the harshest feedback possible from you." By asking in this way you give people full permission to let rip.
Related: 7 Traits of Exceptional Leaders in the Age of Customer Feedback
Internally we all want praise and support but objectively, if there's a reason something is unlikely to succeed and it's hidden in our blindspot we want to know about it sooner rather than later. You don't want people to be polite, you want people to point out something that is in your blind spot.
If you are lucky enough to get "free consulting," don't take it personally, don't react badly to it. Write it down and reflect on it like a scientist who's conducting experiments. Treat it like a doctor who's working with an injury and looking for the right treatment plan. Thank the person for their negativity the way you would thank them for their praise.
Any BIZ Experiences can accept a pat on the back; the truly great ones go looking for a slap in the face.
