Leadership Is a Skill, Not a Natural Talent. I Learned That the Hard Way. Ten years ago, I was a terrible leader.

Q: I'm a great worker, but my leadership abilities are lackluster. What's the best place to start improving? — Jeff, San Francisco

Are leaders born or made? It's a classic question, and the answer is usually: both.

Some people possess natural talents that inspire teams and drive big decisions. But most leadership isn't about intuition; it's about experience. It's learning how to build, connect with, and empower a team. Those skills can be learned — and I would know, because when I first took on a leadership role, I didn't have them. To be honest, I was a terrible leader.

I knew how to create value and generate revenue, which was enough when I was a solopreneur — but not when I added employees. My wife worked with me initially, and it took her quitting, in part because of my dismal leadership, for me to take a hard look in the mirror.

Once I stopped trying to have all the answers and realized the success of my business depended on empowering my team, leadership began to feel more like an asset than a chore. One decade and four businesses later, here's what I've learned about becoming a better leader.

Related: 5 Rock-Solid Leadership Strategies That Drive Success

1. Turn down the ego.

It's easy to confuse being a leader with being right all the time, but this is a massive mistake. No one likes a know-it-all. When you hire a team, they want to know that their input and thoughts are valued. When you reject any idea you didn't come up with, you create a disempowering environment.

As a leader, you must make it clear what your team is trying to accomplish, clarify roles and responsibilities, and give your team as many resources as possible. Then, get out of the way and support them. If things don't go as planned, you can review, analyze, and correct.

2. Turn up the listening.

When you become the boss, give up on winning popularity contests. Inevitably, you'll be forced to make difficult decisions that make some people unhappy. It's part of the job. But even if you can't always be loved, you can be respected. And the most surefire way of gaining respect is to give it.

My greatest lesson as a leader — and business owner, generally — is that listening is a superpower. When you stop trying to solve every problem and just listen, it's incredible how much things improve. If people feel heard and validated, they might not always agree with your decisions, but they can respect them.

Related: 6 Telltale Signs of Bad Leadership

3. Embrace extreme ownership.

Retired Navy SEAL Jocko Willink made a name for himself with his bestselling book Extreme Ownership. To me, his key concept is simple: Success depends on leadership, and — as a leader — you must own 100% of your team's performance, especially in moments of failure.

This doesn't mean your employees get a free pass if they don't perform. But if they don't succeed, it's important they don't feel like they're being judged individually.

4. Invest in your team.

Do you care about your business, or do you care about the team that makes your business work? It's a subtle but crucial difference. People spend most of their lives at work, and they're more willing to give their all when they believe their boss cares about their personal goals and dreams. Take the time to figure out what your employees want, and how you can help them achieve their goals.

None of this is easy. You're moving fast, and it's not always clear how your leadership choices are paying off. So think of it this way: Your team is the launchpad for your future success. If they trust your leadership, they'll propel you further than you knew was possible.

Related: How to Figure Out When to Hire An Expert, or To Just Do It Yourself