Communication Tips 7 BIZ Experiencess and Leaders Wish They'd Known in Their Early 20s We asked our network what communication skills they wished they had known earlier in their careers, and this is what they had to say.
By Mark Klekas
It doesn't matter how good your story is — it all depends on how well you can articulate it.
If you're starting in the BIZ Experiencesial space or grinding to climb the ranks in your industry, you must learn to evolve your communication skills. We know that soft skills play just as important of a role in success as learned hard skills.
When you are in your early 20s, you'll try all sorts of strategies to pitch yourself, your content and your business. We asked our network of experienced BIZ Experiencess and leaders what communication skills they wish they had known sooner, and we heard valuable pieces of advice that can help you skip trivial communication trials and errors. Here they are:
1. "No one cares if you're the smartest in the room."
When I was in my 20s, I spent a lot of time making sure that people I interacted with knew I had something smart to say. Particularly as a young woman, I went into every situation with a baseline assumption that someone was going to think I was ditzy. But as I got older, I realized that not only was this posturing not helpful to anyone, but it also gave me a lot of performance anxiety. I was paying more attention to how I was coming across than what was happening in the moment.
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Over time, I came to see that what most often impresses people is the ability to listen and make unexpected connections, and not be afraid to ask dumb questions. In fact, asking "dumb" questions is very often a requirement for finding clarity, which puts you on the fast track to saying anything smart at all. And when you don't come across as intimidating, people are more likely to be comfortable with you, which prompts them to be more open and honest, which is always a plus in communication.
Frances Dodds, deputy editor of BIZ Experiences magazine
2. "Learn the nuances of emotional intelligence."
I wished I knew better in my 20s how important emotional intelligence is for success. It's critical for the ability to work effectively in a team and communicate well with colleagues, as well as for a solopreneur or startup founder.
It is surprising, then, that our traditional education and training systems neglect emotional intelligence, the ability to understand, use and manage our own emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges and defuse conflict.
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Essentially, it's about being aware of our emotions and those of others and navigating these effectively. In the context of remote and hybrid work, emotional intelligence becomes even more critical. Why? Because remote work strips away many of the visual and auditory cues that we unconsciously rely on to understand others' emotional states. We can't see if a colleague is distracted, worried or overjoyed.
We can't hear the subtle shifts in tone that indicate sarcasm, seriousness or delight. To compensate for this, we need to develop our emotional intelligence to read between the lines, understand the unspoken and manage our responses.
Gleb Tsipursky, CEO of Disaster Avoidance Experts and business consultant
3. "Don't ask people what they do for work as your first question when networking."
When I was younger, I always made the same mistake upon meeting someone at a networking event; asking what they do for work.
Don't get me wrong here, I'm not saying you shouldn't eventually ask that question — it just shouldn't be the first question. The reason is the person you're chatting with has probably already said the same thing multiple times. As a result, they'll just be going through the motions instead of engaging in a fresh conversation. And while they're chatting for an extended period of time, you have to look like you're actively listening while also determining whether or not you're making too much eye contact. As a result, the initial interaction is transactional and potentially uncomfortable.
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So, here's what you should ask instead: What do you do for fun? This will automatically put the person you're chatting with in a good mood. After all, they're talking about something they enjoy and will welcome the opportunity to share it with you. Beyond that, you'll be able to ask probing questions that allow you to learn more about them as a person and you won't come off as just another attendee who's trying to see what they can get out of them. After a few exchanges, you can then shift the conversation to a more business-focused topic, but by that time you'll have already established the rapport that is so crucial to building a powerful network.
Terry Rice, business development consultant and marketing expert
4. "It's okay to be in your early twenties."
When I was just starting my first job out of college — a staff member of the international accounting firm KPMG — I was always trying to look like I was in my 40s. I would write in very official language. I became an expert in corporate jargon. I rarely joked around and concentrated on portraying a very formal, professional, proper and solemn facade. In other words, I was the complete opposite of myself!
As my confidence grew and I became more familiar with other employees and clients, my comfort level began to ease, and I behaved, wrote, spoke and communicated more like...well...me! Of course, it's important to keep things professional, and I had plenty of rough edges to work on. But this happened over time. I wish I could go back to those days and tell myself just to be myself. It's okay to be in your twenties. It's okay to be yourself. Not doing so harms your credibility.
Gene Marks, CPA and owner of a tech and financial consulting firm
5. "Start with your audience."
As a young writer, I often began articles with long, roundabout anecdotes. Or I wrote blog posts just to amuse myself. I thought that, if I liked it, the reader would too. But as I got older, I realized: People don't have time. They look at everything and ask the same first question: "Is this for me, or is this not for me?" As a young writer, I rarely anticipated or answered this question — which is why most readers ignored me. Today I operate differently. I always start with the questions that people are already asking themselves, and then I think about how, in anything I communicate, I can quickly signal how my work will be relevant. That's made all the difference.
Jason Feifer, Editor-in-chief of BIZ Experiences magazine and host of the Problem Solvers podcast.
6. "Simplicity is art."
When I was younger and was asked to write a memorandum on a topic or even explain an accounting rule to others, I would spend a great deal of time researching its complexities and making sure I could be perceived as smart. I would cite other rules, litter my communications with advanced technical terms and go to great lengths to include as many facts as possible in my presentation, no matter how obscure. What I've learned since then is that the best communicators take a complex topic and make it simple, not more complex. Their goal is not to show how much they know about the topic but rather to help their audience learn as much from them as possible. If I were to go back in time to when I was in my 20s I would tell myself to keep my communications simple.
Gene Marks, CPA and owner of a tech and financial consulting firm. Read his latest subscriber story: More Businesses Are Asking Customers For Tips — Should You? Don't Make These 5 'Guilt-Tipping' Mistakes.
7. "When pitching yourself or your company, if your first question is, 'How do I make money?' That's a red flag."
If the first question you're asking is how to make money, you're probably not going to have longevity in the space. And we can say that confidently because I've seen many shows come and go on our platform. We also think that a lot of people these days are trained to think that going viral and achieving instant overnight success is a good thing. But we've witnessed many individuals who experience a meteoric rise and then struggle to sustain that growth.
So, we advise creators to take it slow and steady and focus on building a community that trusts them over time. If you do that, your audience will stick with you through the ups and downs, and gradually, you can turn it into a sustainable business. On the other hand, if you have a rapid rise, there's a long way to fall if you don't maintain that momentum.
Lauryn and Michael Bosstick, co-founders of The Skinny Confidential. Watch their recent subscribers-only call.
