Being 'Nice' Almost Cost Me My Business — Here's What I Do Differently Now Don't let politeness undermine your authority — here's how I rebuilt my client relationships

In the early days of building my company, before team retreats, company values or anything resembling structure — I landed a client I thought would change everything. A household name. A generous budget. Access to rooms I'd only dreamed of.

They were charming, urgent and eager to move fast. "We'll work out the specifics later," they said. And I — ambitious, energized, hungry — said yes.

That was my first mistake.

By saying yes to being nice, I said no to setting boundaries. Scope ballooned. Expectations multiplied. Instead of leading the relationship, I chased it — reactive, overextended and increasingly misaligned. When the contract ended, they vanished. No thank-you. No follow-up. No second thought.

The work was fine. The experience? A costly lesson.

The problem with "nice"

Nice is easy. Nice is polite. Nice doesn't rock the boat. But when nice replaces clarity, it becomes dangerous.

Nice masks the truth in soft language. It dulls useful tension. It delays discomfort and multiplies damage.

We once worked with a DEI compliance firm that brought in a celebrity spokesperson and rolled out a complete rebrand, without looping us in. When they asked for feedback, we smiled and nodded. It wasn't good. But they were proud, and we didn't want to kill the momentum.

A few weeks later, they hired a consultant who told them the exact truths we didn't. They listened. They acted. They pivoted — without us. Not because we failed, but because we stayed quiet.

Here's the irony: they wanted the truth. Most clients do.

Related: Why Empathy Is a Crucial BIZ Experiencesial Skill (and How to Develop Yours)

What silence costs you

In a business landscape where 89% of consumers are more likely to engage with companies that respond to all reviews, silence doesn't read as professionalism — it reads as disinterest.

In digital marketing, sugarcoating isn't kindness — it's negligence. It prevents the honest, sometimes uncomfortable conversations that actually move the work forward.

Another client came to us with a brand-new website from another firm. It was clunky, templated, and, frankly, looked like a scam. I could've softened the feedback. Instead, I called out the red flags, shared competitor benchmarks and outlined the risks. That moment of honesty saved them tens of thousands — and earned us their long-term trust.

Truth: a strategic advantage

Honesty isn't just moral — it's strategic.

We once worked with a board game company whose leadership resisted every suggestion. We accommodated them, afraid to overstep. The result? The campaign flopped.

So we reset the relationship. "You hired us for our expertise," we told them. "Let us lead — or let us go."

That moment changed everything. Trust replaced tension. Strategy started to click. Results followed. Because that's what truth does: it realigns, refocuses and rebuilds.

Why we stay quiet (and how to stop)

Most of us were raised on: "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all." But in business? A better rule is:

"If you don't have something productive to say, wait until you do—and then say it clearly."

Honesty without empathy is blunt. Empathy without honesty is manipulation. But together, they create influence — the kind that earns trust, drives change, and builds resilient teams.

You don't have to be aggressive to be direct. But you do have to be brave.

Building a culture where truth isn't taboo

This isn't just about client service — it's about internal culture. At my agency, we lead with candor. Not because it's easy, but because it builds stronger teams. Teams that feel heard, respected, and empowered to speak up.

One time, a client gave feedback that stung. Before the next call, I told my team: "Watch how we address this — head-on, respectfully, without compromising our values." On the call, I told the client their comments had landed poorly. Not to shame. Just to inform.

"Our team loves working with you," I said. "Let's make sure they continue to feel respected." The result? An apology, a cookie bouquet, and a client who now leads with the same transparency.

Want to get better at telling the truth? Start here:

• Bake it in: Build feedback loops into your process. Don't wait for disaster.
• Teach it: Direct, constructive communication is a skill. Train your team like it matters — because it does.
• Model it: If leadership isn't honest, no one else will be.

Final thought

Being nice might win a smile. But being honest earns results.

Lead with empathy. Tell the truth. And build client relationships that aren't afraid of friction, but built to grow through it.

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