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I'm a Keynote Speaker on Suicide Prevention. When I Feel Like Quitting, I Reach for This File. Do you have a place where you keep positive feedback? Mine keeps me going when I want to give up.

By Dennis Gillan Edited by Frances Dodds

This story appears in the January 2022 issue of BIZ Experiences. Subscribe »

Courtesy of Dennis Gillan

At age 52, I felt like a complete failure. My marriage was dissolving, I sucked at my sales job, and every financial opportunity seemed to slip away. Then I spoke at a fundraiser for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, because I lost two brothers to suicide 11 years apart. It hurts to type that sentence. It was even more painful to speak about it. But people responded well to my talk, and invitations started arriving for me to do it again. Delivering this talk seemed to be the only thing I was good at. So despite my ­discomfort, I became a keynote speaker on a really tough topic.

I started a foundation dedicated to suicide prevention, called the Half a Sorrow Foundation, which I now run. The name comes from the old proverb, "A shared joy is a double joy; a shared sorrow is half a sorrow." We are all our own harshest critics, and I often have days where the toll of the work I do has me thinking of packing it all in and returning to a "normal" job, if there is such a thing.

Related: Cultivate Resilience and Mental Health Within Yourself

It is during these times that I reach for the purple file.

The purple file is where I keep feedback from my talk.

I speak to many, hoping to reach one, and judging by this feedback, some folks are listening. They often reach out to me via social media, sometimes years after they hear me talk, and I am always touched. I print their messages out and stuff them in this file. Heck, some of these people make me cry. One that really hit home was, "After hearing you speak, I feel normal again."

Related: If This Guy Could Make a Portrait Out of Toast, I Can Do Anything

When I consider quitting, I grab the file and come back with renewed determination. Do you have a similar file? Somewhere to put a cherished testimonial, comment, piece of feedback, or kind note from a coworker? Something that lifts your spirits and reminds you why you do what you do? I recommend it.

I would have quit this suicide prevention gig years ago if not for this file and the cherished feedback it contains. What I do (and what you do) is not easy, but the purple file keeps me going. Or rather, the people behind those comments keep me going. As it turns out, I do not suck at sales. I just needed an excellent ­product to sell, and that product is hope.

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