Covering The Bases Baseball agent shows it's not just whether you win or lose it's how you play the negotiating game.

Ron Shapiro is a legendary negotiator, but his style can besurprising. That's because the Baltimore attorney holds to aguiding philosophy that makes him very different from mostnegotiators: "Never beat up on the other side."

Sound crazy? Not judging by the rich deals Shapiro has made forclients ranging from businesses to pro athletes including $32million over five years for Orioles star Cal Ripken Jr. and aboutthe same for former Minnesota Twin Kirby Puckett. What's more,despite winning those lucrative contracts, Shapiro is so highlyregarded by Major League Baseball's owners that he frequentlygets mentioned as a strong candidate for baseball commissioner.

"Both sides can leave a negotiation happy," saysShapiro. "Get all you can, but try to accommodate the otherside's needs, too. Use the negotiation to build relationshipsfor the future."

Nowadays the co-founder of the Shapiro Negotiations Instituteregularly conducts "Making the Deal" seminars forexecutives and BIZ Experiencess. Can we, in fact, learn to negotiateand build relationships? "Absolutely--I've taughtthousands of people through the years, and there's no doubtthis skill can be taught," promises Shapiro, who here sharessome of his negotiating secrets.

BIZ Experiences:Why shouldn't we try to beat up theother side in a negotiation?

Ron Shapiro: That's how most people think ofnegotiating, but it is exactly how not to do it. The battlementality is a real negative--in the end, this win-lose approachturns into lose-lose, and nobody comes out ahead.

BIZ Experiences:Another case of that kind of negotiationis the baseball strike of a few years ago.

Shapiro: And today, too. Remember, the strike was endedby court order; the talks continue. They are the ultimate exampleof how not to negotiate. Management clearly came to the table tobeat the union once and for all, while the union clearly did notwant to relinquish its string of wins in recent years. The twosides started out fighting over a whole pie, then a slice of thepie, and soon they may be fighting over crumbs unless they find away to accommodate the needs of both sides. This shows what'swrong with the battle mentality in a negotiation.

BIZ Experiences:But should we just surrender to theother side?

Shapiro: [In our seminars,] right after we show hownegotiation isn't win-lose, we show how it isn't"wimp-wimp," either. Negotiation isn't appeasement;it's persuasion. When you negotiate a $30 million deal for abaseball player, that's not appeasement. But the deal can stilltake into account the needs of the other side. I've been doingnegotiations for 25 years, and my view has always been that the keyis to do business not just for today but for tomorrow as well.That's how you achieve lasting success.

BIZ Experiences:Do we really need to learn how tonegotiate?

Shapiro: You are in negotiations probably the greaterpart of every day. I'm in negotiations with my youngest sonevery night about bedtime. You check into a hotel, and you'rein a negotiation for a better room, a better price. Wherever yougo, you are in negotiations, and if you are comfortable doing it,you're more effective not only in your business but throughoutyour life.

BIZ Experiences:When does the negotiation start?

Shapiro: In my mind, I'm in a negotiation days andweeks before sitting at the table. I'm preparing, gatheringinformation that relates to the other side--its financial resourcesand competitive factors. The next step is probing, where I sit atthe table and try to find out what the other side's interestsare. What's their bottom line? Then, finally, we propose anoffer and enter what some describe as the haggling stage.That's the "Three-P" negotiating strategy weteach--prepare, probe, propose--and it works.

BIZ Experiences:Which "P" gives BIZ Experiencessthe most trouble?

Shapiro: Two of them--preparation and probing. The Greekphilosopher Epictetus said we have two ears and one mouth. Mostentrepreneurs act as though they have one ear and four mouths. Theywant to get down to haggling. But once you get the mind-set thatpreparation and probing are important, you become much moreeffective. The actual negotiation at the table is only the tip ofthe iceberg. In an effective negotiation, a lot of the iceberg isunder the water.

BIZ Experiences:How, specifically, do youprepare?

Shapiro: If it's a public company, I go to the[Securities and Exchange Commission] or the computer and pull upinformation. If it's a private company, I go to tradeassociation publications, newspaper clips, the Internet. I want toknow all the key facts.

BIZ Experiences:How do you probe if the other sidedoesn't want to open up?

Shapiro: Ideally, you probe just by sitting down with theother side and asking questions. If they are resistant, probinggets tougher--but not impossible.

For instance, if you can, go over to their office. Look at thepictures on their walls. Look at their diplomas. Search for ways inwhich you can connect and bond with them--ways to get arelationship started. And keep looking for creative solutions thatsatisfy their needs as well as yours.

BIZ Experiences:Is it just a bluff when the other sidesays "This is non-negotiable?"

Shapiro: Usually. When you've been negotiating for awhile, you don't even listen to it. Even when price isn'tnegotiable, there are other issues that can beaddressed--there's delivery, service and so forth. That'swhy I spend a fair amount of time trying to find out what the otherside is thinking. Often I find things in this probing process thatlet us shape a deal that works for both parties but doesn'tchange the price.

BIZ Experiences:Is it possible to make a deal where youwin and the other party loses?

Shapiro: Sometimes you could--in cases where you have alot of leverage. But what I admonish people is, get everything youcan, but don't make this a search-and-destroy mission. Why? Youmay well have to deal with that party at another point in time.What goes around comes around.

BIZ Experiences:Is part of the negotiator's job tohelp the other side see how they can give you what you'reasking for?

Shapiro: I always say, to get what you want, help theother side see what they want. Then convince them they can havethat while you still get what you want. That's the way toachieve a true win-win result.

BIZ Experiences:In the proposing stage, you warn thatthe first offer and counteroffer are crucial. Why?

Shapiro: The first offer creates a boundary. If you can,get the first offer from the other side. There are times that theother side comes up with a first offer that's far bigger thanyou hoped to end up with.

If you cannot get the other side to make the first offer and youmust go first, put out an offer that creates a high enough boundaryso you are left with room to negotiate. If you're the buyer,offer less than what you're willing to pay. At the same time,since you've done preparation, build in at least some of theother side's needs in your first offer. But don't put inall their needs--there's still a negotiation ahead of you.

BIZ Experiences:What are some tactics the other side maytry, and how do you disarm them?

Shapiro: Good Cop-Bad Cop. The Higher Authority.Manipulating physical surroundings--for instance, putting you in ahot room and seating you in a chair where the sun shines in youreyes. Know these "getting the upper hand" tactics, andyou know to do what the witch doctors do. The witch doctor calls upthe evil spirits, and the evil spirits go away. You can do thesame. Look across the table and say, "Hey, that's goodcop-bad cop." Or "Why don't you bring your higherauthority into the room so we can talk this out?" Or "CanI change my seat?" These are easy techniques that let youdisarm these tactics if you recognize them.

BIZ Experiences:What's the worst mistake anegotiator can make?

Shapiro: Getting personal. Don't insult the otherperson. By the same token, don't take things personally and getangry. If somebody is angry at you and you get angry at them, wheredo you end up? Losing control of your emotions is about the worstthing you can do.

BIZ Experiences:A big worry is that, somehow, inbecoming effective negotiators, we'll lose our integrity. Isthat a real concern?

Shapiro: A lot of people ask that. The answer is, you gointo the negotiation with goals, but if you give up your integrityin winning your goals--if you lie or don't keep your word--youmay be giving up being an effective negotiator.

When you have integrity and you say something, people know youmean it. You cannot give away integrity because once you do, youcannot buy it back.

Contact Sources

Shapiro Negotiations Institute, 36 S. Charles St. 20thFl., Baltimore, MD 21201, (410) 539-2697.