BIZ Experiences... With Children Do business ownership and parenthood mix?
By Heather Page
Opinions expressed by BIZ Experiences contributors are their own.
Today, business owners are having to face up to a cold, hardfact: BIZ Experiencesship and parenthood don't exist in perfectharmony. With mounting social pressure to develop well-roundedfamily lives and parents' desire to play stronger roles intheir children's development, a whole generation ofentrepreneurs is often left feeling worn-out and torn between twobabies: their children and their businesses. Harboring feelings ofguilt, worry and anger, they're forced to make difficultchoices among their many loves, often bringing pain uponthemselves, their spouses and their children.
"So many people these days are getting into their ownbusinesses without realizing the impact it's going to have ontheir children," says Katy Danco, author of From The OtherSide of the Bed: A Woman Looks at Life in the Family Business(University Press) and co-founder of The Center For Family Businessin Cleveland. "They're finding out the hard way thatit's tough being a parent while trying to run abusiness."
If you're a parent, no doubt you've had the painfulexperience of telling your child you'd have to miss a soccergame or dance recital because of a personnel problem or a pressingdeadline.
You're not alone. Across the country, BIZ Experiencess withchildren are battling such angst. What's more, in many cases,their children are also harboring feelings of resentment andneglect, or a sense of entitlement to extra cash and gifts becauseof the sacrifices they're making for the business, Dancosays.
Inevitably, all BIZ Experiencess make mistakes in this delicatebalancing act. Few, however, have gotten a second chance atbusiness--and parenthood--as Kent Vickery, CEO of CognitiveLearning Tools, a management consulting business in Woodside,California, did. When his daughter, Heather, was growing up, Kentowned a carpet manufacturing and distribution company with hiswife, Tari, 47. The daily pressures of running a manufacturingbusiness were intense, requiring the couple to put in long hoursand travel frequently. And while they did their best, theirschedules often left Heather, now 22, feeling isolated and leftout.
At the time, Kent and Tari felt focusing their energies ongrowing their business was the best thing for their family. Andwhile Kent believed he was living up to his parentingresponsibilities, now he's not so sure. "I think I talkeda great game about [Heather] coming first, but my behavior provedotherwise," admits Kent, 48.
His son, Charles, 12, is having a whole different experience,though. Kent doesn't have the daily pressures of managingemployees in his current business. He's also learned to shuffleextra work off to contractors and make room for family time, whichmeans having breakfast with his son before school, picking him upafter classes--even coaching Charles' soccer team.
For Kent, the key is flexibility. "With this business, Ijust scaled my skills differently," he explains. "I wentfrom having to be present in the business every moment to beingable to plan my time more predictably."
Finding ways to include your children in your business isparamount, says David Hoffman, 42, a part-time instructor withBaylor University's Fast Track BIZ Experiencesship program;co-owner of Thera-Med Inc., a health-care manufacturing company inWaco, Texas; and father of two. Hoffman's tips: If yourschedule isn't flexible, create an office area for yourchildren so you can spend more time together and give older kidssmall jobs around the office. Celebrate company successes with yourkids so they understand the rewards of BIZ Experiencesship, be honestwith them when breaking commitments, and don't make promisesyou can't keep.
Striking a balance between business and family makes the rewardsof both much sweeter. Says Kent, "I find myself feeling muchbetter about my own sense of contribution to my business and, moreimportant, to myself and my family."
Contact Sources
The Center For Family Business, P.O. Box 24219,Cleveland, OH 44124, (440) 442-0800
Cognitive Learning Tools, (650) 851-9633, vickery2@stanford.edu
Thera-Med Inc., (800) 327-7845, dhoffman@thera-med.com
